Skagoraphobia

The fear of skiing in crowds.

I’ve just invented this phobia. I have been working on it over the last few weeks. But it became fully mature today. I am paranoid about people crashing into me.

Piste-etiquette dictates that the person downhill has the right of way.
Hubby tells me to ignore the people behind/above me (the ones I can’t see, can’t control, who have gravity on their side) and focus on the ones in front ( who I have fully supervised and who can’t hurt me because they are below me)

I am the skiing equivalent of a Sunday driver and my nemesis as the are snow-boarders.
The Alpine equivalent of our Donegal boy-racers. They are generally boys/young men, represent a shrinking 20% of the piste population. They have both feet locked into one board, they love speed, they make a lot of noise, they can’t hear you, as they have earphones and they often have limited control of their vehicle.

Yesterday, I heard the tell-tail swoosh of a speeding boarder bearing down, I freeze and brake hard…he is coming at me at terrifying speed face to face. Do I cover my face, head, do I roll up in a protective ball…no…I close my eyes! Behind which I see vivid images of pelvic fracture, pins, months in a hospital bed, spitting out the remains of my teeth. He slides over my skis…my hubby shouts an expletive. He is gone in a cloud of snow. I am shaking.

Today I hear a rapid swoosh from behind and freeze.
Then I realise it’s just the backs of my own skis.
Skagoraphobia.